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Thursday, 30 December 2010

Cinta tidak harus memiliki

Hatchi Senorita Pasaribu.


My Shih Tzu baby girl dog. Called as "Achie" 
a very princess like dog who behaves fairy majestic. Achie doesn't bark too much not even to stranger. She is very friendly and gained lots of favor from friends and family of ours.
Achie sleeps in my sister's room. She owns her keranjang, she would initiate sleep on her own.
She is a fat girl with long silky super white highlighted bronzed hair. Very gorgeous. 
Just like a princess, if we take her to pet saloon, she would wiggled delightfully with chin up and big grin on her face. Her favorite is blow hair part, i know that Achie thrilled about the wind sensation that sway her hair along :D



She is now 7 years old. Still single. Unmarried.
She's been suffering of itchy skin for months. The wounds are getting swollen, re-dish, and bleeding.
My sister has been very patient taking care of Achie. I most likely cry seeing her trembling karena nahan sakit. I just cant stand it :(((
Achie is a brave dog. She remains calm when my sister put Betadine and all those liquid over the bleedy wounds. She never flee or behave dis proper when sister in action. Even if we deep her in warm salty water, she just calmly obey and remain stable. That breaks my heart :(


It's been months and no sign of any improvement shown, she still in pain and getting any worse.
Mom once bring up the idea about putting her to sleep, an Euthanasia.
At first i was brutally against the idea. That's rough and inhuman, we still have hope. There's still alternative ways we can try to make her feel better :( 
But as I stayed home for December holiday and get to see Achie everyday, I started to think like Mom used to. 
I don’t want to keep the dog alive and in pain for my own benefit and selfishness. I've gotten to the thinking of what lifestyle my dog is currently having. She is not happy, sick, and suffering
Cinta tidak harus memiliki. What's the point of having her around the house but she sleeps everyday, cried, and in pain most of the time :(
If we put her to sleep, she would have no longer dealing with wounds and those stinky disease right?


I called our vet, dr.Bambang and dr.Cut to give counsel what to do. Should we continue the treatment or put her to sleep.
Her reaction was way than i was expected. 
"Ruth, saya nggak sanggup untuk nidurin Achie. Lebih baik harus operasi 10 anjing daripada harus nidurin binatang. Saya nggak tega. Saya saran gini aja: diskusikan dulu dengan keluarga, pastikan dulu semuanya ikhlas dan nerimo. Lalu ajak Achie ngomong baik2 apakah dia mau pulang atau mau bertahan hidup, karena biasanya anjing akan pergi dengan sendirinya"
I was deliberately sobbed  out, I told the doctor that I don't have the guts to do so, I don't have the heart to let her go but if this is the way to get her any better, then I would.....
I cried and cried and cried. 


She loves taking (long hours) nap. Look at her gorgeous thick hair. Lovely.
Cinta tidak harus memiliki, aku sayang sama Achie and I know for sure Achie loves me in return.
Tapi aku ga perlu memilikinya terus kalo dia nggak happy :( 
Like I many times mention that the happiness of others are what matters the most with or without me
The quality of her life is the significant issue.
“Should I put my dog to sleep?” is a difficult question, and just thinking about pet euthanasia is heartbreaking. But, letting go could be the best decision for my dog.


Achie my sweetheart, if you don't get any better, if you were still suffering, and if we ever had to put you to sleep, please forgive me and us the rest of the family. Know this is for your own good, sayang...


You've been a very very very much lovable Shih Tzu dog I always proud of. Mon cherie :)


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